I Hate the Scale

I have a love-hate relationship with the scale. It makes me feel good when the numbers go down yet as soon as I see that number go up even if it is a  .05 of a pound I get discouraged and start to wonder  what the heck am I doing wrong?

I have mentioned it before and I will again, I am on a mission. A self-healing, self-love and self-improvement mission and so far I am damn proud of myself.

Last night was a real test. I was sleepy, annoyed from the traffic on the 405 (if you don’t know what that is like then I am truly happy for you) and the very last thing I wanted to do was leg day for 80 minutes of my life at the gym. I had somehow convinced my husband that a greasy cheese pizza (just one slice) was a better alternative than working out these excess pounds I’ve managed to gain these last 3 and a half years. After doing a tango of yes and no’s he finally caved, just like that, “ok, let’s go get pizza.” What? Are you kidding me? I thought in my head. No, I got this far. My car is literally parked outside of the gym. My pre-workout is ready to go, and it’s 5:30, this was a miracle. I somehow convinced myself that pizza after the gym was better than pizza and no gym at all. It would be a way of rewarding myself for doing movements that would affect my walk the next day. But you guys know what? I didn’t get that slice of pizza. I felt so good after our gym session that I didn’t want to ruin it with a greasy pizza that would most likely than not give me heartburn 30 minutes before bed, yes, unfortunately, I am at that point of my life. Heartburn, indigestion and acid reflux are all too common in my body. These are the exact things that brought the change in the first place, that and the fact that I will be heading to our annual friends trip in July and I DID NOT want to feel uncomfortable in a bathing suit.

What did I start this off with? Oh yea, I hate scales. I have seen my body change in this last month of entirely dedicating myself to my workouts. I have seen the difference, and this is why people advise you not to focus so much on the numbers. I had a brief pity party up until I saw that more than 50% of my body is muscle. That means that half of me isn't even fat I have more muscle to balance it out. Seeing this also reassures me that I am not crazy and that my life decisions of plant-based organic creamer instead of a sugar-packed creamer has helped. How my walking up and down the stairs at work and taking 30  minute walks during lunch are making an impact. One thing that helped me was staying in my lane. What I mean about that is I don’t compare myself (or try not to at least) to other women on social media, at work or even at the gym because you know what? It’s 10x harder to get a fit body then eat whatever you want and do nothing! Gaining the weight, that’s the easy part. If anything, now I find myself appreciating these fit women more and giving them credit because they are also making tough decisions like not eating that second donut or going hard at the gym. Wherever you are at in your fitness/lifestyle change journey, I wish you the best! Hang in there I promise it gets easy. Remember, I passed up Pizza!

(Not to worry kids, I know I will get my pizza soon )