One more month before you’re a toddler

Tonight I am an emotional mess.

Teething and sleep regression have robbed us of a good night’s sleep, but if I’m honest, since you were born, I no longer know what that means. 11 months have come and gone in a blink of an eye. 11 months of us getting to know each other outside my body. 

See before you were born I called all the shots, you went with me wherever I’d go. We were one, literally! Inseparable. Now you are growing and boy do you speak your mind (even if it’s baby talk). You are so independent, you’re silly and kind. You’re massive bear hugs are my favorite. I love that you are sensitive and cry when there’s only one in the bed (10 in the bed song) because he says he is lonely, you look up at me with your beautiful hazel eyes like you’re asking me to fix it. I love our morning walks and how much you love food. I love that your favorite number is tres (3) so you say it all the time. Your giggles.... your giggles melt my heart and make my whole day better. 

I knew motherhood would challenge me and change me but I don’t think I could’ve imagined that it would be like this. Seeing you learn something new is like if I’m also learning it for the first time. You’ve mastered walking up and down the stairs in the den and you refuse help. You are trying to run before you even master walking and that’s what scares me, you are so curious and independent that you need to experience things for yourself. I promise even if it scares me, I will continue to nurture your independence; I will also encourage that you show your emotions because there is nothing wrong with a sensitive man.

So tonight, I reopened my laptop as I have you laying on me to write you this letter. There’s a lot in my life I have questioned, but I know for a fact I was meant to be your mommy for a reason, it’s something I feel in my bones. So here’s to 31 more days of calling you my baby before I have to start telling people I have a toddler. Here’s to more stories because mommy wants you to have something to read. Even if no one else reads my blog I know you will.

Photo by Nicolette Moku